Living in the Gap
Embracing the Art of Life-long Learning

by Elaine Morris

It was spring of 1988 and the conversation is just as vivid today as it was 20 years ago. I was in a meeting with my boss and mentor, Suzanne Bush Black. I was excited to share the news that through my efforts, our consulting firm was invited to present the keynote at a prestigious conference. I told her what kind of topic and style they requested, and the proposed dates, to make sure her calendar was available for the engagement. When I offered to attend and support her, she said, “No, I won’t need to be there, you will be perfect for this.” My heart skipped or maybe stopped altogether and I quickly reacted, “No way. I am not ready for that kind of audience.” Suzanne smiled, “Yes you are.” I felt sick to my stomach as I desperately tried to convince her of my deficiencies. She did not buy it. She steadfastly held to my talents, my readiness and my potential.

The Challenge

Finally, Suzanne stopped the argument, held me by the shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Look, would you be willing to give up your view of yourself for how I see you?”

How do you answer that kind of question? If I said “No” then I would be right about my limitations. (Maybe being right is not all it’s cracked up to be.) If I said “Yes,” I would have to accept the challenge of doing something that really scared me. I would have to invest many hours in preparation. I would have to face my fears of public speaking, and lay myself open to criticism from people in high places. Even worse, I could fail miserably and never work again. Like Barack Obama’s bold entrance to the international arena these past weeks, he could shine and show his superior skills, or as many of the press wrote, he could slip badly and prove how inexperienced he is.

I felt confused. I had never had anyone stand for me in this way. I felt deeply moved and inspired, yet disturbed by the disruption in my reality. A huge GAP was created in that moment. I could choose to live in the box I had built for myself, or I could choose to accept the challenge and live into the new reality being offered. As you can imagine, it was too compelling to pass up, and accepting the challenge felt like a free fall. At some point in that scary descent, I fell in love with learning.

Learning To Learn

Surveying a client recently regarding his coaching program, his response was surprising: “It was exciting, I started growing again…I realized I had quit learning.”

This fifty-something, bottom-line and task oriented company president had recently tripled the size of his company and now faced the growing pains that kind of growth produces. What he now saw as a critical component to his success was his ability to keep learning. This is counter-intuitive for most senior leaders. It goes against the grain of our American business culture which for the most part promotes “look good, do it right, be in control, and be strong…” The state of learning is just the opposite. It requires risk, letting go of the tried and true and exploring possible new options. It also takes a greater level of collaboration and a tolerance for ambiguity as differing viewpoints are considered.

For leaders to be most effective, they must balance Knowing and Not Knowing in order to increase both personal and organizational learning.

In next month’s article, we will explore how leaders grow.

In our new blog space, share your views on leadership learning.

In Partnership,

Elaine Siciliano Morris

About the Author: Elaine Siciliano Morris is principal consultant and founder of Sea Change Inc, an organizational effectiveness firm based in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. A frequent keynote speaker and workshop presenter on leadership, corporate culture and personal growth, Elaine works with leaders and their teams to create productive and rewarding work environments. More information about her is available on her website: www.seachangecoach.com, or contact Elaine by phone at 972-407-0648.