Emotions in the Workplace

Part Two: Principles for Leaders

Principle #1: Develop High Self Awareness

“The job of leaders is to think from their heads, communicate from their hearts, and act from their guts.”
- David R. Gaster

This quote captures the enormous and complex mission of today’s leaders.  Emotional Intelligence studies have become so popularized because today’s business climate requires well developed influencing and communication skills.  It is a leaders’ ability to be in touch with their own emotions that give them the insight to deal with a wide array of situations. Here is a good definition of Self Awareness:

“SELF-AWARENESS:  Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact;  using “gut sense” to guide decisions.  
Leaders high in emotional self-awareness are attuned to their inner signals, recognizing how their feelings affect them and their job performance.  They are attuned to their guiding values and can often intuit the best course of action, seeing the big picture in a complex situation.  Emotionally self-aware leaders can be candid and authentic, able to speak openly about their emotions or with conviction about their guiding vision.”
                     (Primal Leadership, Daniel Goleman)

AWARENESS GIVES YOU INFORMATION

Your emotions can give you valuable information about yourself, other people and situations.  An angry outburst from an employee can let you know he is feeling overwhelmed by the workload.  Anxiety about an upcoming presentation may warn you about the preparation that is needed.  Sensing frustration from a client may let you know there is an important service issue to address.  An uncomfortable feeling with a potential employee may tell you they are not being authentic.

“By tapping into the information that your emotions provide, you are able to alter your behavior and thinking in such a way that you can turn situations around.”   
                     (Emotional Intelligence at Work, Henrie Weisinger, Ph.D.)

SELF AWARENESS IS THE BUILDING BLOCK OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

“To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.”
- Benjamin Disraeli

It’s not a crime to admit weakness and in fact, this is the pathway to the next level of growth.  People who refuse to acknowledge weaknesses are not “growers” and often cause people to distrust them.  They work hard to keep up the façade of being perfect and keep people from being close to them.  Ultimately their weaknesses do catch up with them and then they don’t have people close enough to them for support.

STRENGTH COMES FROM ACKNOWLEDGING WEAKNESS

A leader I know asked his key executive team the tough question:  “In what ways do I get in the way of our success?”  They were a bit reluctant to answer, and so he asked them to make a list of the top 7 traits they needed from him.  Once they all agreed on the top 7 he then asked them to rate him on a 1-5 scale in each competency they chose.   He took that information and focused on two things to improve that were critical—keeping them abreast on important matters, and becoming a better listener.  Both related to communication.  He thought he was a terrific communicator.  He was.  He was also well liked.  But his tendency to run ahead without sharing information left his team in the dark and, like many CEO’s, he tended to talk too much.   Each month they rated him and his scores went up consistently.  He set the tone for self improvement and truth telling.  When it came time to give each of his team members feedback it was easier to be candid and they were far more open to receiving what he had to say.  He had modeled how a successful person keeps growing.

 “My life is like one big obstacle course with me being the chief obstacle.”  
- Jack Paar

APPLICATION

Where are you and your team with regard to self-awareness?  Here are some steps you can take to increase your self awareness.  (For specific resources on these tools, click here to contact us)

• Have a 360 degree feedback conducted on yourself.  This will tell you what your strengths and gaps are. Engage a reputable coach to review your feedback and create a developmental plan.
• Take a personality or styles assessment, like the Myers Briggs, DISC instrument or Strong Interest Survey.
• Develop a list of situations at work that sparked emotional reactions or were difficult to resolve.  Write a few sentences for each situation describing what happened, how you felt, what you said, what the other person said, how it turned out. Look for themes and possible triggers so that you can learn to modify your reactions in similar situations in the future.  (For a tool to track these triggers, click here to contact Elaine)
• Set aside a half hour daily for prayer and/or meditation.
• Keep a journal to record insights, feelings, and daily situations.

About the Author: Elaine Siciliano Morris is principal consultant and founder of Sea Change Inc, an organizational effectiveness firm based in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. A frequent keynote speaker and workshop presenter on leadership, corporate culture and personal growth, Elaine works with leaders and their teams to create productive and rewarding work environments. More information about her is available on her website: www.seachangecoach.com, or contact Elaine by phone at 972-407-0648.